“My mom calls me most of the time to give me the same advice. Everything I do is wrong, I’m livid right now. Do I look like a kid? I think at this stage of my life, I’m old enough to make drastic decisions without her consent or interference.”
Do you share a similar view? Let me know in the comment section.
It’s common for parents to have a fierce love for their children and want to give them “words of wisdom” to shape their lives and ultimately guide the decision making aspect of their lives. No matter how old the child is, the children still feel some sense of responsibility to dish out advice.
Speaking from the child’s angle, the advice is directives that are sometimes ‘underrated.
Conflict is natural in relationships. The important thing is how you manage it so that it doesn’t lead to enmity or violence.
How do I handle my parent'(s) underrated/unwanted advice
1. Give them an audience
Listen to what they have to say. It might be a repetition of what they had said, listen still. Don’t be defensive. Take the advice as a valuable insight, you might learn something new. Be soothing. Don’t fan the flames of conflict.
Don’t just listen without responding. Your response does not have to be verbal, it could be non-verbal. When you gesticulate, it signals that you are paying close attention to what they are telling you. Gestures like nodding, eye contacts, smile, etc are required. If there is a part of the conversation you agree with, comment on it.
3. Steer clear of the topic
Try to divert from the topic if you don’t want to discuss it with them. And do not discuss the challenges you are facing as a result of the decisions you have made in the past or present. When they bring the topic up, divert it if you can. You can say for example, “Would you like a cup of coffee?
4. Quote a professional
Let’s say, you are a nursing mother, and your mother or mother-in-law says you should feed your newborn with water alongside breast milk. Just say to them that your doctor has warned about the danger of giving water to infants and advice that you should wait till the baby is six months.
Many people like to follow professional advice, this might just do the magic for you.
5. Provide feedback (optional)
Be honest and choose your words carefully. Help them understand that you value their unwavering insights, however, you don’t want them constantly meddling in your affair. The feedbacks can be said when the situation is not tensed. Share your thoughts in the most appropriate situation. You can rehearse your words before saying them. When you do, ensure to play it safe.
How well do you handle this, let’s here in the comment session. For more gist on this, click here